Winnie

I thought a dog would keep me from offing myself...

...and she did. Not only that, she made me feel like I needed to be alive, obviously, to feed her and to care for her. But also for the cicadas we listened to on our evening walks; she stops in her tracks to listen to them, too. On many days, the only reason I got dressed was to take her out to inspect the earth. I learned to love the long pauses as she, the most particular creature I’ve ever known, searches for the perfect place to defecate and I have no choice but to take in the world around me while I wait. I stay up a little later at night because that’s when she’s most playful. After dinner, she pounces around the kitchen like, Yes! We've completed another good day! (And even if my day sucked, she quickly convinces me otherwise.)

She stinks after swimming, her curls are like a sponge for filth, so she’s never surprised or upset when I run the bath. She waits patiently to be picked up and placed in the tub and closes her eyes like she's at the spa. She calms at the sound of certain music and gets nervous before I even realize I’m nervous myself. We've lived in 5 homes together, each one as comfortable as the last as long as we were together. She looks sideways at anyone who doesn’t love me the way she loves me. And when I finally found Caleb, she fell in love with him, too.

I got Winnie because my life felt empty. I thought she could lead me back to myself. Instead, she’s transformed me into a whole new version of myself, the version that slows down, that sets aside extra time to savor the evenings, to let the bath water cool down, to say hello to strangers who want to pet her. She's taught me to accept the kind of love like the one she unconditionally pours into me, even when I don’t deserve it.

Of all the beautiful love stories in the world, there is nothing quite like the one you have with a dog.